The friendly Mercedes service advisor takes the keys to my 2016 AMG GT S and hands me the fob to a 2023 EQE 350 4MATIC SUV. It hardly seems like a fair trade to swap—an AMG halo sports car for a jelly bean EV SUV—but it’s what it will take to get me home during my GT S’s eight-year service. I approach the EQE with equal parts apprehension and anticipation; Mercedes’ EQ line is generally regarded as a failure. Will the EQE SUV woo me where the EQS failed?
Day 1
The EQE SUV senses me approaching—well, the fob approaching—and extends its door handles in greeting. I grab the driver’s door handle and pull; the heft is formidable and in keeping with Mercedes’ reputation for luxury, quality and safety.
While the EQE’s exterior is as featureless as a half-sucked Ricola, its interior is a lounge-like revelation. A long light bar wraps the dash and hugs the doors, giving the feeling of stepping onto the deck of a starship. As I settle into the driver’s seat, the ambient lights glow, illuminating the dash, turbine vents, intricately cut speaker grates, metal-capped door switches, and more. This cabin is full of glittering jewelry!
I notice the start button—how anachronistic in an EV!—and prod it to power on the EQE. The gauge cluster and navigation screen come to life with a starry animation. (The stars are tri-tipped like the Mercedes emblem, of course.) Outside, the headlights do a startup dance, then brilliantly illuminate the shadowy service bay.
It appears that the prior driver of this loaner vehicle loved Barbie because the light bar is pulsing with the pink and aqua tones of a Malibu sunset. It is a most theatrical welcome. (Miami Rose and Venice Pink are a few of the other available lighting themes.)
The welcome show’s colors pop on the light gray MB-Tex that covers the seats, steering wheel and doors. The dash is topped with a handsome brown MB-Tex with a semi-suede texture that I love. MB-Tex is Mercedes’ fake leather, and it feels as premium as some competitors’ midgrade natural leathers.
Once I have recovered from the EQE’s dazzling welcome, I put the SUV into drive and set off for home. The instrument cluster indicates that the batteries are 99% charged. My predicted range is 314 miles, or 334 if I’m on best behavior. This is much more optimistic than the EPA’s 254-mile rating, so we’ll see how I fare.
My AMG GT S has a starchy ride, so my exit from the dealership in the EQE feels smooth, smooth, smooth by comparison. Impacts from the cracked pavement are distant, and the thickly padded driver’s seat coddles my bony butt. This EQE is equipped with the Mercedes comfort suspension, the no-cost base suspension. I find the ride to be beyond reproach. (But those blessed to own—but cursed to maintain?—a Mercedes with air suspension may wish for a more wafting ride.)
When I hit the highway, the EQE cruises effortlessly at 70 mph. It could trot at 100 mph without breaking a sweat, but I don’t dare risk my license with triple-digit velocities.
My first impression is that the EQE is a jelly bean EV but still a Mercedes. The E-Class experience of a bland exterior, flamboyant interior, and anvil build quality wrapped in Pampers softness still presides.
Day 2
“Do you want to go fast?” I ask my daughters as we wait for the onramp metering lights to turn green. “Yes!” is their enthusiastic response. (My wife looks resigned to the impending acceleration.) I smash the accelerator, and the all-wheel-drive EQE lunges forward with a surprising fury. The seat-pinning thrust lasts until 30 mph and then quickly tapers. My daughters and I are giggling; my wife is just annoyed.
The EQE 350 4MATIC is similar to the rear-wheel-drive EQE 350+ but adds a front motor for all-wheel-drive. That second motor bumps the total torque from 417 lb-ft to 564 lb-ft, but curiously, both EQE 350s generate the same 288 hp. (Also curious is that the RWD and AWD EQEs are both priced from $77,900.) Having twice as much torque as horsepower may explain the EQE’s hard launch but quickly waning acceleration.
We are on the highway heading across the bay to see tulips at Filoli. The spring trip to Filoli’s dazzling gardens is a family tradition; I have photos of my kids growing up with these blooms.
The freeway miles to and from the garden estate allow me time to explore the DISTRONIC adaptive cruise control from the $1250 driver assistance package. Like Tesla’s Autopilot, DISTRONIC follows curves, paces traffic and performs lane changes. It even courteously relinquishes the passing lane after clearing slower traffic.
To build my trust in the system, the instrument cluster shows the vehicles in my lane and the lanes to the immediate left and right. The virtual view of traffic isn’t as complete as Autopilot’s, but it alleviates my worries about DISTRONIC merging into an adjacent vehicle or failing to see slowing traffic.
However, the DISTRONIC isn’t as natural at highway driving as a human or even a Tesla. Whenever a car merges ahead of us, the EQE immediately brakes to restore the gap. More worryingly, DISTRONIC occasionally reacts late to curves, and once it ignores the shoulder line and drives in the breakdown lane! These are hiccups that I haven’t had in my Tesla Model 3 in years. DISTRONIC seems to be 80% as good as Autopilot but at 20% of the cost.
When I’m not fretting over DISTRONIC’s lane-keeping habits, the EQE is a relaxing highway tool. The steering is easy and direct, the power is plentiful, and the suspension smooths bumps without a hint of shimmy. The soft dampers quell 90% of the impact in the first cycle, and the remaining energy is absorbed in a gentle secondary bob. The SUV feels like a three-ton boat on a smooth lake—its curb weight is actually 5,400 lbs—and it wouldn’t surprise me if the doors accounted for 1,000 lbs of its mass. Still, its calm composure reminds me how good a luxury vehicle can be when the engineers aren’t trying to turn it into a sports car.
Day 3
It is Sunday and my AMG GT S should be ready on Monday, so I slip away to a hilltop pullout to take photos of the EQE. Circling the SUV with my camera in hand, I struggle to find a single inspiring angle. The EQE looks bulbous and generic, like a shortened and fattened Chrysler Pacifica. The EQE also has a minivan’s ride height, and it could easily chuff its chin on a high curb. For better or worse, its dark blue paint hides what little scalloping and (fake) venting adorn its body panels. No, the EQE is not a looker in my book, but I’m not enamored with the styling of any Mercedes SUV, save the G Wagon.
I leave the pullout without any banger shots and take twisty Grizzly Peak Boulevard back to Berkeley. On the highway, the EQE felt like a wafting cruiser without an athletic bone in its body. Yet here on the mountain, the EQE cuts through the 35 mph twisties with supreme confidence and agility. When I push it into a corner, the big Merc mildly lists, then tenaciously grips the road. Its AWD and rear steering help it track effortlessly past the apexes, and soon, I’m keeping up with much sportier vehicles than I have rights to.
No, the EQE isn’t a sports SUV like a BMW X3 M40i, but it could make up time on the way to the ski slopes if needed.
On Sunday afternoon, I take the EQE to Trader Joe’s for the weekly shop. Though the EQE is nine inches longer than my Tesla Model 3, the midsize SUV is more nimble at dodging shopping carts and slotting into parking spots, thanks to its 10 degrees of rear steer. (The rear steer is $450 well spent.) Mercedes’ high-resolution 360-degree parking cameras also make it easy to squeeze the SUV into tight spots; the backup camera overlays the EQE’s predicted path, and when the steering wheel is turned to its limit, the path is comically U-shaped. When reversing, a helpful rear-cross traffic alert warns me of cars coming across my rear.
I sprint around Trader Joe’s and return with a cart full of food. The SUV’s sizable trunk is unchallenged by the five grocery bags. In fact, six or seven rollaboard suitcases should fit fine, and under the floor is additional storage for the charging cable and other odds and ends.
Days 4-7
The start of the work week brings some bad news: the AMG GT S’s belt tensioner pulleys are worn out, and sourcing replacements will take a few days.
I fall into a routine of using the EQE for the school run. Embracing one-pedal driving, I left paddle “downshift” every time I start the SUV to engage the strongest regeneration, then trundle back and forth across town. (I wish it would remember my regenerative braking preferences.) Thanks to the high seating position, I have good outward visibility, though I have to be cognizant of the A-pillar blindspots.
Mercedes has made great strides with its MBux infotainment system. The touchscreen infotainment is easily reached on the center console, and its interface is highly intuitive and responsive. It is a vast improvement over the clunky COMAND system from my AMG GT S. Features are presented in simple menus of large icons, and I never need to go more than a layer or two deep to find what I need.
Even though my daughters struggle to open and close the hefty doors, they love the EQE’s airy interior, spacious back seat, wafting ride and Pink Floyd light show. I like all these things, too, but I wince at the dirt stains the little feet are making on the white carpet and seat backs.
I have to laugh when the girls suggest I keep the EQE and sell the AMG GT S—not a chance!
Return
On Friday morning I learn that my AMG GT S is ready for pickup. I hop in the EQE for the 30-minute drive to the dealership. On the way, I consider whether I’d take the EQE over the other midsized electric SUVs I’ve driven.
The Tesla Model X P90D was a hoot to drive. When its air suspension was at its lowest, and its drive settings were on full kill, the Model X had the footwork and steering feedback of a hot hatch. However, its complicated falcon doors rattled like a pocket full of quarters, and its third row was so tight that it was unusable by adults. I prefer the EQE over the Model X P90D because it is so easy to load and drive and because I think it will be more reliable in the long run.
The controversial BMW iX is a much more compelling EQE competitor for me. Yes, the iX looks like a dog’s dinner, but the EQE’s curb appeal is hardly better. Regardless, the iX had a fantastic ride on crumbling city streets yet was a touge champ on sweeping mountain highways. And the iX xDrive50’s 516 hp/564 lb-ft outstrip the EQE 350 4MATIC’s 288 hp/564 lb-ft. Though many find it repulsive, I can see owning the sporty iX, whereas I just respect the luxurious EQE.
My pulse rises when I pull into the dealership service lane, as there is my AMG GT S, ready for another year of fun.
I check the EQE’s gauges and see it has taken me 203 miles in the past week. There is 13% charge remaining, which could take me another 37 miles. That actual range of 240 miles is not far off the EPA-rated range of 254 miles. Well done, EQE!
I pay my friendly service advisor for the repairs, then, with a grin, swap the EQE fob for my AMG GT S’s. All is right in the world again.
See you later, EQE 350 4MATIC! May we meet again!
Mike's Steering Column 